I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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