home. puking in laundry basket.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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