It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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