Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
