Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
