He is such a slut. More and more my type.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
