so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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