So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
