What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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