goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
