eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
