Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
