took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
