Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
