I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
