If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
