so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
two words...techno handjob
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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