So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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