Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I love you. Go after that dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
