Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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