I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize