wat bout pragnant strippers??
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
