He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
