I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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