Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what day is it and did you see me today?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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