five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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