we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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