she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
