Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
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The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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