Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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