he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
