He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
