just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
