no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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