I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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