I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
