dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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