Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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