you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
