I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
