is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
