If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone says I win the strip club
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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