I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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