The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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