She said her name was "party"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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