i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
