He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
