After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
