Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
