You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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