so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
