Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
