it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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