Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
