so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
