Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
