I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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