so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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