Need sex. Gaining weight.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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