He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
