I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
