You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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